Wisdom from Military Manuals

'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'

- Infantry Journal-

'It is generally inadvisable to eject

directly over the area you just bombed.'

- US Air Force Manual -

'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword,

obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'

- General MacArthur -

'You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.'

- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.-

'Tracers work both ways.'

-  U.S. Army Ordnance Manual-

'Five second fuses only last three seconds.'

-Infantry Journal -

The three most useless things in aviation are:

Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you.

-Basic Flight Training Manual-

'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'

- Maritime Ops Manual -

'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.'

- Unknown Marine Recruit-

'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.'

-USAF Ammo Troop-

'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death,

I Shall Fear No Evil.  For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'

- Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-

'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'

-Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)-

'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'

-Unknown Author-

'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage

it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'

- Fixed Wing Pilot-

'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane,

you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'

-Multi-Engine Training Manual-

'Without ammunition, the USAF is just an expensive flying club.'

-Unknown Author-

'If you hear me yell;"Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos.'

If you stop to ask "Why?"

you'll be talking to yourself, because you're the pilot.'

-Pre-flight Briefing from a 104 Pilot-

'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?

If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.'

-Sign over Control Tower Door-

'Never trade luck for skill.'

-Author Unknown-

The three most common expressions (or famous last words)

in military aviation are:

'Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?'  and 'Uh Oh'

or (appended from the Arkansas Air National Guard):

"Hold my beer and watch this!"

-Authors Unknown-

'Airspeed, altitude and brains.

Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'

-Basic Flight Training Manual-

'Mankind has a perfect record in aviation –

we have never left one up there!'

- Unknown Author -

'Flying the airplane is more important

than radioing your plight  to a person on the ground

incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.'

- Emergency Checklist-

'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world;

it can just barely kill you.'

- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot) -

'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'

-Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ-

'If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.'

- Sign over Carrier Group Operations Desk-

'You know that your landing gear is up and locked

when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'

- Lead-in Fight er Training Manual -

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off

the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives.

The rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, 'What happened?'

The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'

Remember:

there are more airplanes in the sea,

Military Life - Military Humour