Quickies

I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but Thank You for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes."

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Aspire to inspire before you expire.

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My wife and I had words, But I didn't get to use mine...

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Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

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The irony of life is that, by the time You're old enough to know your way around,You're not going anywhere.

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God made man before woman so as to give Him time To think of an answer for her first question.

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I was always taught to respect my elders, But it keeps getting harder to find one.

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Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period? Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, Dad had a heart attack & our driver ran away.

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A women asks man who is traveling with six children: Are all these kids yours? The man replies: No, I work in a condom factory and these are "customer complaints ".

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A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential?" Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son. That's confidential."

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 A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom", he asked, "are these my brains?" "Not yet," she replied.